A Just Read Review – Atlas Shrugged – Kill My Mediocre Soul

Reading Atlas Shrugged is an event. Why? I mean, really, it’s an iffy novel. It’s a thousand pages of iffy story, iffier characters, and come on, the climax reads like b-movie Ian Fleming. And the dry, stupid, unnecessary John Galt speech? Please. It was skim-city and I was the mayor. And yet…

Reading Atlas Shrugged is an event because it’s more than novel, it’s a philosophical treatise, it’s passion, it is an enormous literary masterpiece. It is one of the most important books ever written with some damn fine prose. Damn fine prose. I sound stuffy, like I should be smoking a pipe in front of a fireplace. Damn fine, mate, pip, pip, jolly good.

Reading Atlas Shrugged is like being strapped to chair, drenched in water, and electrocuted and brain-washed, with toothpicks keeping your eyes open for days on end like in the movie The Island from the 1980’s. It is propaganda disguised as a novel. It is probably the most subversive book I’ve ever read. It is a book that begs to be burned. It is a suicidal book. It is anti-Christian, anti-communism, anti-novella. And yet, it is inspiring. This is a book that challenges you to change, and sticks needles in your genitals to make sure that change happens. And if you resist, it fights you, fights you to read it, fights every belief you have, fights you until you are exhausted. It had to be 1000 pages. It uses every word as weapon.

If I wanted to take over a country, I would burn Atlas Shrugged, then kill all the lawyers, and then give people free Taco Bell and free cable T.V. I would rule forever.

I love to read the classic novels because they are classic for a reason. If you haven’t read Goethe’s Faust, you are cheating yourself. Don’t read this insipid blog. Go, now, find a classic book, get some coffee and read until your mind explodes.

Reading Atlas Shrugged exploded my mind. The book is simple. It repeats it’s themes over and over again. We all just have 24 hours in a day. What are you doing with your time? What are you doing to live? And what is stopping you? And if you are letting things stop you, well, I’m not. Get out of my way. I’m going for it. I’ll climb over your corpse to get there. Frak you.

Atlas Shrugged is relentless. Like I said at the beginning, it is an event. And maybe that is what literature is, en event. Not just a nice little story that grabs my little attention for a few little minutes. Man, lots of books are like that. And even writing a little book is hard. But to write something that moves heaven and earth–that takes courage. More and more, though, I’m reading my own writing and I can do better. I’m getting frustrated with the chained writing I’m doing. At some stage, I’m gonna have to throw off the chains, and churn out pages that rage. But it’s hard to write books no one can read. I did that for awhile. But I wonder if I could marry the explosion of my early books with the control and plotting of my later novels. In the end, Ayn Rand wouldn’t care about the art of the book, only about the sales. It’s about money, production, success, celebrating life by creating, innovating, selling, and driving forward. Kill the mediocrity inside you.

So, I am reeling from the event of Atlas Shrugged. You’ll get more. The bomb has gone off. It’s gonna take me any number of blog posts to pick up the pieces.

Leaf on the Wind

I didn’t go straight home last night from my business trip from Toledo, Ohio. I had a few things to do first. I had to watch Steve Jobs die. And I had to finish reading Atlas Shrugged. Oh, I’m gonna blog all day long about Ayn Rand, and I’ll blog about Atlas Shrugged, and literature, but today, let’s talk about the tree outside of my window at my Marriott hotel. I went to bed, looking at the wind shake the tree, and it was shadows and wind and light. It was very pretty and soothing.

In the morning, it was also pretty with sunshine, soothing with dawn. Someday, I’ll be dead, and I won’t be able to look at the trees any more. Both Ayn Rand and Steve Jobs, their days of tree-gazing are over.

In the hotel, I watched the Steve Jobs Stanford speech. Yes, I should have been writing, or working, or doing all the things that fill my days, but I knew this moment wasn’t going to come around again. Let’s be clear, I am not an Apple guy. Microsoft all the way. I enjoy the freedom of PC’s to the imperial chains that Apple has. Don’t get me wrong, love Apple products, but I’d rather go ghetto than be imprisoned in pretty graphics and smooth userability by the man.

Stay hungry. Stay foolish. Steve Jobs is one of those guys Ayn Rand would have drooled over. True story. Come on. He was an entrepreneur. He was driven. He was a captain of industry. He followed his dream.

Now he’s dead and all over the news. The Marriott Breakfast Woman, all capital letters, said she was tired of hearing about him. Is she following her dreams? Am I? Am I hungry and foolish?

I never did foolish well. I was too busy getting stuff done for foolishness. And hungry? I learned early to feed myself so I didn’t have to take chances on asking anyone for food. So I haven’t been hungry and foolish, but I want to be. I long to be.

The problem is, I have kids now, and kids need structure and a stable environment. Especially the James-Bond-Super-Villains-Posing-As-Little-Girls I’m trying to raise. Or is that what I’ve been told? Maybe the forces of nature would do better if there were more chaos. I don’t know.

This is the year of discernment. By August, 2012, I am going to wrestle the truth out of God and I’m going to know what the next thing to do. It’s probably not going to be the 9 to 5 I’ve been livin’.

From Firefly, Wash would say, “I am a leaf on the wind.” I am going to be the leaf on the wind. I am not going to cower with the other dying leaves in the gutter. I refuse. And if I die penniless, well, every writer needs to die penniless. That’s part of the deal.

Stay hungry. Stay foolish. In the end, scream it out loud, we all die. Every single one of us.