I was there, ground zero, at the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers 2007 Gold Conference, at the First Sale Panel. And who was there? Lynda Hilburn. Talking about her novel that follows a psychologist who begins to treat a vampire. What a great idea. High concept. Brilliant. I was a little jealous. And so intrigued. Imagine my dizziness, when Lynda agreed to an interview. I was dizzy, dizzy I tell you. And her bio is amazing. We had so much to talk about! Music, writing, mental illness! Maybe she could help me. She did. We chatted. Wonderful.

Taken from her website, she’s been a rock-and-roll singer/musician, a typesetter/copy editor for various newspapers and magazines, a professional psychic/tarot reader, a licensed psychotherapist, a certified clinical hypnotherapist, a newspaper columnist, a university instructor, a workshop presenter and a fiction writer.

Yeah, pinch me, I’m dreaming.

Want to know about The Vampire Shrink? Here is a little teaser. Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah. Now about the book.

Kismet Knight, PhD, doesn’t believe in the paranormal. She especially doesn’t believe in vampires, but she begins to wise up when she is introduced to a handsome man named Devereux who claims to be 800 years old. Kismet doesn’t buy his vampire story, but she also can’t explain why she has such odd reactions and feelings when he is near. Then a client almost completely drained of blood staggers into her waiting room and two angry men force their way into her office, causing her to consider the possibility that she has run afoul of a vampire underworld. Enter FBI profiler Alan Stevens, who warns her that vampires are very real, and one is a murderer—a murderer who is after her.

On to the interview, my pretties.
Aaron: Lynda, when we chatted, you said writing and publishing were harder than being a musician. How so? I mean, I know we’ve had authors who have flamed out as grand and as soaked in gin as Jim Morrison in a Paris bathtub, but I was so surprised at your comment. We writers are such dapper, sophisticated, conservative types of people. Dang, no sarcasm font. How is being a writer harder than being a musician?

Lynda: Thanks for interviewing me, Aaron. I really enjoyed our telephone conversation. Maybe being a writer isn’t harder than being a musician, but my experience of writing and publishing has proven to be much more ego-denting, neurosis-stoking and challenging than singing/performing in front of large crowds. And that’s saying something, because I suffered from severe performance anxiety for years when I started singing as an adolescent — stomach-twisting, cold-sweat-pouring-down-my-chest, can’t-stray-far-from-a-bathroom panic and fear-of-impending-death performance anxiety. I really thought nothing could be worse than that. I was wrong.

Spilling my guts onto appropriately formatted pages and sending them off to hostile aliens (agents, editors) to read and critique, in hopes of getting “the deal,” makes vocal performance feel like a day at the spa. As a singer/musician, if I had an off night and flubbed a performance, it was over. I didn’t have to revisit it. Unless, of course, some sadistic soul recorded me and my sub-par performance was immortalized on You Tube forever. But writing a book means my work is constantly available for the reading pleasure – or displeasure – of potentially millions of people (hey, an author has to dream big, doesn’t she?), most of whom aren’t shy about sharing their wide-ranging opinions. The stuff of nightmares, to be sure. I don’t believe authors who say they don’t read reviews and/or have sufficiently tough skin, so therefore they’re unaffected by the opinions of others. Right. We writers have elevated the quest for outer validation to an art form. Give me a drunk and rowdy crowd at the local VFW Hall anytime.

Aaron: So The Vampire Shrink has seen it all. It’s been small pubbed, e-pubbed, and resurrected again, coming out in April 2012. It’s been shot up, stabbed, burned, put under the bed, drug back out, tortured, nearly staked by Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and yet has emerged, victorious. It is the Rasputin of books. And, keep in mind, a bestseller. Tell us all a little of that book’s journey. I find it jaw-dropping.

Lynda: LOL, Aaron. That about sums it up. I started writing The Vampire Shrink in 2005 just for fun after meeting with a young client in my counseling practice who talked about wanting to join a non-human group. I’ve been a vampire book fan forever, so listening to her story made me wonder what it would be like to find a gorgeous bloodsucker sitting in my waiting room. I went home that night and started typing.

Being relatively new to fiction writing (I’d mostly focused on nonfiction previously), I had little knowledge of fiction/publishing rules. So, with the encouragement of my various critique groups, after I completed 3 chapters I began sending out query letters. It never occurred to me that I needed to wait until the manuscript was complete. The response was good. Many agents/editors asked for the full. Yikes. I had to come clean and say the book wasn’t finished. I was told to get back in touch when it was, so I wrote like a fiend, completing a draft within months. Several agents held onto the ms, saying they were “thinking about” the book. Finally, one agent – the jr. agent of a big NY agency – offered representation. I was on my way!

Despite multiple rewrites and initial enthusiasm from the jr. agent, nobody wanted the book as it was written. At that time, “blended genres” wasn’t happening. I was told to “pick one genre, take out all the others, and resubmit.” My jr. agent’s boss told me to “put the book under the bed and write something else and we’ll start over.” What? You’re kidding, right?

Soon a critique partner told me about a small publisher seeking submissions. Without talking to my agent, I subbed to this small pub. They wanted to buy the book yesterday. My agent wasn’t happy. He asked me to investigate their distribution, which made no sense to me. Why did I care if their books were actually in book stores? Yeah, I know. LOL. Silly me. After months of contract negotiations, I signed on the dotted line. I was ecstatic! I would be a published author!

Uh-huh. Problems began immediately and continued. The small pub released Shrink in 2007 and Dark Harvest, which used to be book #2 in the series, in 2008. Then we parted ways. My agent and I also said good-bye.

After those endings, I spoke with many agents. They all told me it was “impossible” to move a series from one house to another. I was devastated and certain I’d had the shortest publishing career on record. Confused and depressed, I stopped writing for months.
At the end of 2009, I began noticing people like JA Konrath blogging about self-publishing. Self-publishing? Really? I thought that was a last resort? Apparently not anymore. In early 2010, with Joe’s encouragement, I had the books (I retained the e-rights) re-edited and uploaded on Amazon and Smashwords. Within a month they became Amazon bestsellers and I was making more money from my books than from my work as a psychotherapist.

My bestseller status drew the attention of an even bigger NY agent (Robert Gottlieb, Trident Media Group) who offered representation. He said he was sure he could sell the series to another house. He did (and got me an amazing advance). After nerve-wracking legal wrestling with the previous small pub to get my print rights back, I finally signed a joint 3-book deal with Quercus Books, UK (Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’s first publisher) and Sterling Publishing (Barnes & Noble) USA.

So now there’s the old trade paperback from the small pub, the UK hardcover, the UK kindle edition, the USA trade paperback, the USA Nook edition, an Australian trade paperback and soon a UK mass market version floating around out there. Yikes. Oh, yeah. And a German version I sold myself.

Whew. What a long, strange trip it’s been.

Aaron: How did you survive the roller coaster of believing in The Vampire Shrink, and getting traction in the publishing industry, and yet, having to survive setback after setback? Was there fist shaking at the heavens? Midnight binges of cookie-dough ice cream? Trips of oblivion into the abyss of reality television? What pulled you through?

Lynda: Lots of fist-shaking, temper tantrums and chocolate eating. During the worst time, I pretty much gave up and felt sorry for myself. I wallowed in the best solitary, junk-food-fueled pity parties. My wonderful writer friends kept encouraging me to hang on, and without their emotional support, I probably wouldn’t have experimented with self-publishing in 2010, which changed everything.

Aaron: You and I, very different. You wrote a book and courageously tried to get it published, while I wrote thousands of books and hid them under my bed. Where they gnashed their teeth in the darkness. Knowing what you know now, would you suggest braving the treacherous waters of the publishing industry earlier rather than later? Wait, or don’t wait? What do you think?

Lynda: You’re so funny. The treacherous waters of the publishing industry continue to churn. These days there are more options for authors, although it does seem true that fewer large, print deals are being offered. I think if getting a print contract is important, an author should pursue that. If not, or if that desire hasn’t happened, looking into self/indie publishing is a great idea (even though that arena is changing by the minute). One of the main complaints about self/indie publishing is that some of the books aren’t ready for prime time. I’m an advocate for sending a book through as many appropriate and helpful eyes (critique partners, critique groups, beta readers) as possible, along with having it edited professionally at least once, before taking the next step on your chosen path. Everyone needs an editor. But, simply because a print deal hasn’t been offered yet isn’t a good enough reason to hide your book under the bed. (Get those books out of there, Aaron! Or get them night guards for that gnashing problem.)

Aaron: As a psychotherapist, and that is one word for Lynda. My mom is a psycho therapist. Two words. Kidding. Anyway, Lynda, as a psychotherapist, would you see a vampire as a client? With the understanding that it wouldn’t try to eat you. Or get all sparkly. Do you think you could help a vampire? Professionally.

Lynda: My son says the same thing about me. I’ll give the disclaimer that I still HOPE to meet a real vampire (which is why I created my vampire lust object, Devereux), while not believing they actually exist. I think real vampires would be a separate, alien species. Unless there were strong remnants of humanity present, I can’t imagine I’d have a clue as to how to connect with such an exotic creature. I’d probably be much more helpful as a snack than as a counselor.

Aaron: Have you met vampires? And no, I don’t mean actual long-toothed denizens of the night. But more like psychic vampires.

Lynda: Absolutely. Psychic vampires abound. And there are many varieties. My favorite is the sociopathic emo psychic vampire. These individuals stalk their prey with cold dispassion, both drawn to and afraid of authentic emotion, draining the feeling essence from their victims, leaving empty husks behind (metaphorically). I’ve met several gurus and self-proclaimed masters who fit this description. Then there are the drama queens who generate so much emotional chaos that we’re forced to either fortify our boundaries to the point of exhaustion or risk having our energy sucked to feed the gluttonous monster. If you spend time with someone, then feel depressed and fatigued after they’re gone, you’ve likely encountered a psychic vampire. For some reason, lots of us choose psychic vampires for mates, and it’s virtually impossible to live with one without becoming physically or mentally ill. But they’re so entertaining. Maybe we all have a drop of the psychic vampire in us.
Aaron: For you, what is the absolute best part of writing? What is the absolute worst part? And if you could, would you give up writing to be a world-famous singer\songwriter? Like Lady Gaga. Kidding, kidding. Everyone knows that Katy Perry is THE firework to follow.

Lynda: The absolute best part of writing is having written. Seriously. I love looking at the last sentence of the last paragraph of the last page. I’m not one of those writers who revel in the writing process. For me, it’s manual labor. And I’ve discovered that I function best connected to others during the siege. If I’m too isolated, withdrawn, my creativity suffers. About the world-famous singer question? I don’t think so. I really gave that a good shot a couple of times when I was younger. That lifestyle brought out the worst in me in every way. Bad habits, etc. I miss singing but not enough to hang out in bars to do it. Besides, in my car, I’m the greatest singer in the universe. Why mess with perfection? LOL

Thanks so much, Lynda!  And I gotta point out the awesome blurb from Kelley Armstrong on your book.  You go girlfriend!  All you vamps out there, check out The Vampire Shrink Today!  And the sequel, Blood Therapy.  See  below.  Awesome!

Cover for Lynda's new book

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