I saw the movie, John Carter, and while I went in afraid it was going to suck like a Hoover-demon, I left overjoyed.
They got it right. I can’t imagine another movie so lovingly done, so respectful of Edgar Rice Burroughs, and so faithful to the world of Barsoom. Maybe not to the actual books, but to the spirit behind the books. The vision.
Keep something in mind. I loved Peter Jackson’s The Fellowship of the Ring. However, he lost me in The Two Towers, because Sam, Frodo and Smeagol were about to sit down to eat a supper of rabbit and taters, and they were interrupted. No. You have to have them eating the rabbit and the taters. Or it all doesn’t work.
So I am very sensitive about books being translated into movies. And I knew Hollywood was going to try and kill my beloved John Carter. I grew up on Barsoom books, ever since I was an eight-year-old, and I’d get in trouble for bringing the books to school because in my editions, they had half-naked women on the cover. Drawn wonderfully by Michael Whelan.
It was worth the trouble. I adored Dejah Thoris and Thuvia, Maid of Mars. I dreamed of sleeping in the towers of Helium on my dais of silks and furs. To fly across the dying world, a radium pistol at my side, a long sword, short sword, and dagger on my harness.
So I figured the John Carter movie was going to be a lot of fighting, and no rabbits and taters for supper. Then I heard Andrew Stanton was going to help write and direct, and that guy, that guy brought us Wall-E. Which I still can’t talk about without getting weepy.
“Wall-E!“
“Eva!”
Me. Crying.
I went with hope in my heart, but fear in my wallet. And guess what? Taters were roasted. Rabbits were eaten. The movie was wholly and completely satisfying.
Now, I haven’t read all the reviews. And I don’t know what the zeitgeist is on the movie, but I will give you my opinion. And forgive me, ERB, forgive me, but I liked the movie better than the book. I know, I know. But hey, in the movie, Dejah Thoris is a real woman, with strengths and weaknesses. And John Carter? He’s not a cookie-cutter-white-guy-hero coming to save the day. In Andrew Stanton’s story, John Carter is a good man with a troubled soul who has a character arc, who changes, who is heroic, but that heroism came at an awful price.
And dude, they had McNulty from The Wire as the bad guy. Right there, that raises this movie up to the heavens. And don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop, Willem Dafoe as Tars Tarkas.
“Virgina!”
I laughed. I cried. I loved me some Woola and Sola. And the baby Tharks. I wanna wake up with baby Tharks crawling all over me. Better than puppies. Well, prolly not. But the movie did a great job bringing the Tharks, men, women, and children, to life.
Yes, there were some minor problems. I mean, the swords were wrong. Look at the Michael Whelan covers for how Barsoomian weaponry looks. Long swords, short swords, and daggers. Not curved. Not alien. They should look like how Michael Whelan drew them and how I imagined them for decades.
And the motivation of the Therns was kinda iffy. I mean, part of me dug it—they had that vibe of The X-Files’ smoking man but with more tech and less Camel cigarettes. I also needed a little more of why Dejah Thoris thought Barsoom would be destroyed if she got married. And the opening nearly threw me off the horse. Until we got back to the Arizona Territory. Then, it was magic. Pure, magical storytelling.
I felt young again. As when the world was new. And I was eight years old, and my dad’s friend gave me books that changed his life, and would change mine. All written by Edgar Rice Burroughs.
In the movie, I cried when I was supposed to cry. I laughed when I was supposed to laugh. I felt hopeful for John Carter, I hated the villains, I loved the heroine.
Bottom line, the movie hooked me, and it’s getting harder and harder to get to my old, jaded heart. Especially with some big, dumb, 3D action movie. This worked for me.
And I hope ERB is looking down from heaven with approval. Because the way the movie treated him was just right. So full of respect, and honor, and love.
I plan on going to see it a second time with my daughter. To pass along the legacy. Because this movie truly feels like the torch of Barsoom is being passed to another generation who will ride their thoats across the empty seas under a Martian sky, looking for adventure, love, and a better world.
I love this review, Aaron! I went to the movie with a smuggled bottle of rum just in case it sucked as bad as I feared. The bottle remained unopened and I sat in joyful wonder as my favorite book in my favorite series came to life before my eyes. You captured the way I felt when I saw John Carter. They got it right, they got it all right, and the grace notes of humor were all that I could ask for.
Plus, I have to agree about Dejah Thoris. ERB didn’t give her much to do other than be incredibly gorgeous and honorable and virtuous. I liked the movie’s sword-fighting, science loving nerd warrior princess much better. I’m sure they won’t make another film, but that’s okay. We’ll always have this one.
Wonderful, wonderful review! I agree wholeheartedly with your joy and the heart of the film moved me as it did you! A tragic and bizarre thing has happened to this fantastic film! Attacked and bullied by a few critics and most people won’t even give it a shot. They are seriously missing out, and we, as fans, are terribly short changed by it! We won’t get our sequels! No Gods of Mars! No Warlord of Mars! My heart is broken! But we still fight. If you’re on FB come join our group “Take Me Back to Barsoom” A great crowd over there fighting for John Carter!
Finally! Someone who writes a review about the way us Barsoom fans really felt about the movie. Thank you.
I saw my first Great Dane and read my first John Carter book when I was twelve. I was 21 when I got my first Great Dane (a brindle) and named him Tars Tarkus. Those books made a profound impact on me. Even greater than Andre Norton. I am so glad you liked it. I was worried that the sky was the wrong color when I saw the trailer. I am always leery about books to movies, but you give me hope! Thanks.
Try it out. It worked for me, and I hope it will work for you. A Great Dane named Tars Tarkus! That is so flippin’ awesome!
Dang, high compliment! Thanks Debra Fisher! I really did get caught up in it. it took a century to make, but I think they got it right.
Take Me Back To Barsoom! Yes! If those horrible Transformers movies get sequels, and Andrew Stanton’s movie doesn’t, I just might have to become an atheist again! Nooooo!!!!
Bonnie, that is so great. I might have to tweet that you went with booze in case it sucked, and you didn’t have a drop. Awesome! You never know about a sequel though. You never know…this movie has legs. Queue ZZ Top.
Aaron, I adore your review. At long last, I finally got to watch the movie last night. It was wondrous, and for the first time in ages I could lose myself and revel in an old-fashioned adventure tale that was full of life, light and optimism, and was unapologetically imaginative. I haven’t even finished Burroughs’s book, and it still captured my imagination.
It’s quite a shame more people didn’t recognize this film for what it was, but at least we have this movie to enjoy for the rest of our lives. That much is enough.