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Saturday Music Club Reviews Part 1 – From Steampunk Trenches Cool to Indian Summer Pollution

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Okay, for those who are just joining us, every Saturday, or Tuesday, or Saturdayish day, some of my friends, and some people I don’t know from Sweden, send out music. A song. Just what we’re listening to at the moment. It’s a great way to be exposed to great new music. It’s also a way of spreading the news about bands that need more airplay. And it’s about friends. Here’s to good friends. At some point, I started reveiwing the songs. The SMC’s own Simon Cowell. I’m wearing a black t-shirt. There will be blood.

Kasey Chambers – Pony – My new favorite song. Love Kasey Chambers when she does alt country. When she does her whiny-indigo-girls type of stuff, I hit the next, next, next. But when that girl is on her game, she is unbeatable and haunting. Love the weird, little girliness of this song. Eery. Like Drusilla in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Adore this song.

Clawfinger – Truth – Love this gnashing guitar, rap, Red Hot Chili Pepper cursing fest of sound and delight. Gonna keep this one. However, I gotta say, at one point, the lyrics, the song, hit me like something Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute would have put together. It’s paper, it’s Dunder-Mifflin paper, m*****F*****. Don’t count the asterixes. You’ll be disappointed. Wanna write a book that captures this. Its very ardent. So good, I had to listen ot it twice. Explicit lyrics. They say the “f” word.

Camera Obscura – French Navy – Wow, retro breakfast with a side slender bacon. I felt like it was the 1960’s again, and I was about to sweet talk a hippie chick into my van. But then, I realized, it was 2011. No more vans. No more hippie chicks. Just the distant dream of a cool little song. Very Vampire Weekend.

Butch Walker – Trash Day – Oh, is this Tom Petty and the Delaware Destroyers? Was that Tom Petty’s band. Is this Butch Walker or Paul Westerberg and the Replacements? This is total college band radio nicety with better production values. It’s not bad. I like it. It’s trash day in Atlanda, GA. It’s just, um, derivative. But is that bad? It’s good. The songs it’s derived from are good. It’s all good. And catchy. And nice. I’ll keep it. I’ll recommend it. But it won’t win prizes for newness.

Stone Sour – Zzyzz Rd – Nice piano opening. Isn’t there a literary magazine called Zzyzz. No, I think the literary magazine has a “v” in there somewhere. Lies and promises. Okay. Waiting for the hook. Okay, the drums hit, and I’m hooked. This is a song, after time, that I would either love, or hate, or love to hate, or hate to love. Love that angsty, piano, sing-song, fade away stuff. Nice bridge. Again, nothing new here, it’s the old, done really well. This is my song. Too tired to care, and I gotta go. I would add, gotta go home. Tired and I don’t want to go home. Nicely done. It’s a keeper. Gotta go home. He never says it. Man, that pisses me off. Why won’t he say gotta go home? Why, Spock, why? Okay, I’ll stop. Angsty. Love it.

Six Feet Under – Lycanthropy – Very guitary at the start. But I like the name of the song. And now a demon is about to start screaming. Better get more interesting. I can only death metal when the right mood hits me. I mean, the exact right mood. I mean, it has to touch me like a werewolf’s paw. This wasn’t screamy or demony enough for me. Speaking of lycanthropy, I’m gonna write a novel with were-mules. Yeah, old west, steampunk, weremules. Lots of Braying. “You’re one of us! Carniverous!” That’s funny. But not in a good way. Need more. And then it just fades away? Come on, guys. Come on.

Gordon Lightfoot – Sundown – You know, I used to like Gordon Lightfoot until I realized people called him Gord. His greatest hits was called Gord’s Gold. Gord. Stupid. Yeah, I am that petty. Seriously. This is a great song, and it’s about a girl who was bad, bad news. You know, those kinds of women I could never deal with. I know, I know, the femme fatale, the danger, the mystery, the erotic heights of the unattainable. Those kinds of women don’t mess with me because they know, instinctively, I could never keep up. So like in most areas of my life, I’ve avoided pain by being a wussy man. Next life.

Bassnectar – Timestretch – OMGosh. Please, this song is killing me with cool. I have cool leaking out of my eyes. Cut me? I’d bleed cool. This song is so deep, so entrenched. It’s a World War I fight song. It’s steampunk on acid. It’s so thick and juicy, you couldn’t cut it with a steak knife. You’d need a saws-all. I think dubstep might be the music of my soul. I am going to keep this and pray for more. Arguably, the best song I’ve ever heard. And just when it gets too deep, it then veers off into a wimpy perfect bridge. Last two minutes, variations on a theme. A cool theme. Kick it. Ha, comment on youtube = “If I was the leader of a country this would be The National Anthem!”

Maplewood – Indian Summer – Yeah, is the year 1976? No. This song sounds dated. And not in a cool, steampunk, world war I entrenched cool fight song cool sort of way. Cool. No, this song brings up extra footage from BILLY JACK and the kids have long hair, and flowers in their air, and they’re running across a field, with golden speckles in the sunlight. And then you see an Indian man, crying. One tear slides down his cheek. Pollutions is wrong and makes Indians sad. If I have to hear this guy say ‘Indian Summer’ one more time, I might have to kill him. If the 1970’s Indian Pollution Man doesn’t beat me to it.

You Will Never Write Your Novel, Ever

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Recently, I spent a weekend at a writer’s retreat, and the whole thing is to go away and write. It’s like The Dick Van Dyke Show episode where Rob Petrie goes away to the cabin to write his book because he couldn’t focus at home. It’s a common writer’s idea. I won’t write today, because someday, I’ll have a ton of time to write and boy, won’t it be great. Like Harry Chapin Carpenter’s “Cat’s In The Cradle”, we’re gonna have a good time then.

The thing is, I don’t buy it. Writing is a daily habit because if you wait for the perfect time to write, it will never, ever come. There’s never going to be a good time.

A friend at work, whom I love to hate, and hate to love, gave us a book which has the secret to life. Seriously. It’s by Jeff Olson, and it’s called The Slight Edge. The idea of the book is simple, people are successful by the little choices they make, every day, just itty, bitty little choices that by themselves don’t mean much, but over time, add up and make all the difference in the world. Writing is like that. If you wrote 43 minutes a day, which is the length of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode, you would have a novel faster than if you waited for eight hour chunks. Because how often do you have eight hour chunks? If you have my life, you never have them. You long for them. You hunt for them. They are an endangered animal, elusive, yet beautiful. Come here, little eight hours, come to Daddy.

So I’m enjoying the writers retreat because I’m using it to sneak in projects I won’t have time to tackle once I return to normal life. So in the end, maybe that’s the best way to use the time I got, sneak in the impossible books I’ll never have the time to write.

And Rob Petrie never did write his novel. He got distracted. It’s not about the time you don’t have, it’s about using the time you do have, and realizing how lucky you are in this moment and being grateful.

And that pistachio episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show always unnerved me. Pistachios, everywhere, weird.

SHIVER – Just Finished This Minute Reviews

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There’s a lot to like about Maggie Stiefvater’s Shiver. I’ve been pushing the book for years, because it came from Andrea Brown’s literary agency, and Laura Rennert is Ms. Stiefvater’s agent, and I love all them people.

So I’m biased. But I’ll tell ya what I think. Just between you and me, world. Other worlds don’t need to know.

A lot of it worked for me. And heck yeah, I’m still gonna recommend it. The idea is intriguing: werewolves don’t change because of the moon, they change because they get cold. So during wintertime, our hero Sam is a wolf. Summertime, he’s a boy who meets our heroine, Grace. There’s love. There’s angst. And the nice hook. Sam is going to change back into a wolf forever once winter hits. It’s his last autumn as a human, and he just found true love? Dammit! I hate when that happens.

Nice thing about Ms. Stiefvater, girlfriend can write. Here’s an example.

My parents didn’t even know. The morning after Sam and I—spent the night together, it seemed like the biggest thing on my mind was that my parents had no idea. I guessed that was normal. I guessed feeling a little guilty was normal. I guessed feeling giddy was normal. It was as if I had thought all along I was a complete picture, and Sam had revealed that I was a puzzle, and had taken me apart into pieces and put me back together again. I was acutely aware of each distinct emotion, all fitting together tightly.
–Shiver, Page 300

And Ms. Stiefvater quotes Rilke:
And leaving you (there aren’t words to untangle it)
Your life, fearful and immense and blossoming,
so that, sometimes frustrated, and sometimes
understanding,
Your life is sometimes a stone in you, and then, a star.
– Rainer Maria Rilke

I loved Sam, Sam’s voice, Sam’s memories of his parents and his becoming. All of it well done. Grace didn’t quite work for me, but it wasn’t bad. I’m not saying it’s bad. Am I saying it’s bad? No, but…

As Pee-Wee Herman once said, “We all have a big but.” Here is mine. I needed more whiz, bang, pow action and tension and conflict and villains and explosions and shining moments of high drama. Not necessarily end of the world type stuff; I didn’t need, in the words of that immortal ghostbuster, Peter Venkman, human sacrifice, cats living with dogs, mass hysteria. Hey, I initially wrote cats living with gods, mass hysteria. Cats Living With Gods. That’s gonna be my next book.

Anyhow, Shiver is a bestselling book, in some ways, the heir to the Twilight empire, and so what do I know? A lot of the book is Sam and Grace, together, loving one another. There are some moments of tension, but they aren’t milked for all their worth in my nothing opinion.

Keep in mind, I like me a good soap opera. And what was the genius\idiocy behind soap operas? Milking conflict for weeks on end. Like on All My Children (God rest your soul), the Erica Kane, Dmitri, Edumud love triangle lasted like six months. Ah, Edmund the stable boy, Dmitri the rich landowner, Erica caught in the middle. Love that Susan Lucci.

So then, of course, I take all of theslowness of Shiver very personal. What if my books don’t sell because I do try to milk my conflict? I do aim for the cats living dogs mass hysteria? What if the audience is looking for nice calm books about sorrowful werewolves holding nice girls with family problems?

Here is the reality, oh world of mine. There is enough room for all books. All will have an audience. Some will have an audience of millions. Some will have an audience of one. I will write my books, Ms. Stiefvater will write hers, and in the end, we’ve both contributed to the libraries of human existence. We’ll both end up in that Alexandrian Library in the sky.

Chasing after someone else’s voice or plot or whatever is a dangerous thing to do. Doppelgangers tend not to live very long. Even though they are a 4d8+4 HD monster.

Dungeon and Dragons, Rilke, Ghostbusters, and All My Children in the same blog post. I frakkin’ love what I write.