Category Archives: Interviews/Guests

I Go Moby Dick and Freakin’ Cuss with Urban Fantasy Romance Author Kendall Grey

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I met Kendall Grey at Romantic Times Book Lover’s convention in Chicago and our first conversation was all about how she was hardcore cynical and dark, and she could out-negative me. Oh, Ms. Grey, you don’t wanna go there. So I was ready to do battle, until she revealed the softer side. She talked about her books, Inhale, Exhale, and Just Breathe, and she got a little teary. Hardcore cynical, with a heart soft and golden. Right then, I knew I liked this Kendall Grey. We bonded, and when we are together, we are Kendaaron. In Hollywood, we’re kind of a big deal.

So we talked and, I asked her if…no, no, no, wait for the interview! First more intro stuff. Her debut novel, Inhale, is out now. Exhale is coming soon. And Just Breathe on the horizon. Squint, you can see it.

And check out this very delicious bio from her website all linked up here: Kendall Grey is a whale educator and urban fantasy writer. She lives near Atlanta, Georgia with her ghost husband, a random rainbow, a gossamer-winged fairy, a wild imp, and a ferocious, miniature, long-haired Dachshund who keeps them all in line. INHALE is the first book in the “Just Breathe” trilogy.

Whales, man, it’s all about the whales. Or the sex. Or both. Here is the interview.

Aaron: When we talked, you said you kept going to Gloucester, Massachusetts for the whales. Como? Come again? Whales in Massachusetts? Help me, Rhonda. How did those east coast whales, and other huge ocean mammals around the globe, inspire you, the titles of the books, et cetera?

Kendall: I’ve been a whale fanatic for years. While I was on a whale watching trip in 2008, I picked up Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight. I loved the heck out of that story and thought, “I could write a book.” Of course, the heroine had to be a whale biologist, because, like, DUH! Since I know a few things about whales, the subject matter was a no brainer.

The titles of the books in the trilogy are inspired by the whales too. One of the most amazing things about these animals is the immensity of their breaths. If you’ve ever heard one blow up close, the sound is freaking HUGE! I still get chills when I hear that mighty breath rushing out at 200 miles per hour. They expel and refill lungs the size of small cars in a matter of a couple seconds. Did you know they exchange about 85% of their oxygen in one breath? We pathetic humans only average about 15 – 20%. Next to whales, we are hedgehog poop.

Aaron: So you are close personal friends with Stephenie Meyer. Well, you read her books. In a way, they inspired the book as much as the whales. What is one question you would ask Stephenie Meyer if you met her?

Kendall: What the hell were you thinking when you wrote Breaking Dawn? Hahahaha! I loved the first three books, but the last one went off on a total tangent for me. Sorry, Twilight fans!

Aaron: Now, your books have some erotic coupling, the characters use “colorful” language, and yet, people have thought your books are YA. Let’s be clear. Your books are for adults. Not like adult-bookstore adults, but yeah, you get me. Could you re-write Inhale as a YA novel? What would change? What would you keep? Can you write sentences without “colorful” language, like tumescent?

Kendall: Erm, no, I don’t think I could rewrite the books as YA because they’re about ADULTS. The heroine is 32 years old. She’s a professional woman with a doctorate degree in cetacean biology. I suppose I could pull a Doogie Howser and make her a brilliant teenage prodigy or some crap, but there’s enough willing suspension of disbelief already rippling through this trilogy No reason to make it completely unbelievable.

Aaron: Inhale started out at a hefty 215,000 words, and yet you queried. What kind of reaction did you get with that doorstop size of a book?

Kendall: A hell of a lot of form rejections. HA! One agent was kind enough to write a personal note that basically said, “Just so you know, 215K is more like three books, not one.” I was clueless. I just wrote the book I wanted to read. I never investigated things like word counts or goal, motivation, and conflict. I was too busy having fun to mess with all that boring technical stuff. 🙂

Aaron: Can you give us a little peek-a-boo as to what your query was for Inhale? Maybe like a pitch. A little pitch. For a 215K book, you should get at least 3500 words to pitch your book.

Kendall: Honestly, I don’t even remember what I wrote in the queries. I think I deleted them all. They were as bad as the original book. I prefer to repress those bad memories.

Aaron: In Inhale, dreams are important. Did your own dreams color the writing of these books? Do you have freaky dreams, like in David Lynch’s Twin Peaks, with giants, midgets, people who talk backwards? Am I in your dreams?

 

 

Kendall: Gavin, the hero in the trilogy, actually did come to me in a dream, so yeah, they’ve played a role. I had this image of what he looked like based on that dream, and I never let go of it. He also ate buttloads of creamed corn in the dream, so YES, Twin Peaks had a dominant role. As for your last question, of course I dream about you. Every night. You’re my better half, and your mad words inspire me.

Aaron: When we talked, in Exhale, the sequel, your favorite scene in the book was with your villain, the villain that everyone loves. Why do you think people are drawn to your evil guy?

Kendall: I think readers love Sinnder because he’s so mysterious, and you can’t tell what his true motives are. He does all the wrong things for all the right reasons. He’s Trouble with a capital T, yet you get the sense there’s a LOT more to him than meets the eye. SPOILER ALERT! –> There is a lot more to him than meets the eye.

Aaron: You voice your opinions readily on the internet. I mean, right now, you are composing tweets in your head about this interview and how much you hate me. No, be honest. I can feel the hate. Do you ever wish you were different? Oh, I don’t know, more genteel, Pride-and-Prejudice-sweet, why, yes, Mr. Darcy, I would like more tea? Do you ever wish you had more Jane Bennett in you, or are you happy being all Elizabeth?

Kendall: I have nothing but sticky sweet adoration for your particular brand of badassery, so hush that self-deprecating mess right now. If you don’t, I’ll come after you with a switch and teach your booty a lesson.

I have no idea what those other words in your question mean. What is “Jane Bennett”? “Tea”? “Genteel”? Does. Not. Compute. The only thing I wish I could change about myself is the amphibious thinness of my writer skin. It needs at least 40 lashings from the aforementioned switch to build up some gnarly-thick calluses. Bring on the chips, dips, chains, and whips! Being loud and obnoxious is easy. Weathering bad reviews and people hating my words? I cry like a baby over that crap.

Aaron: Last question. You picked up a bestseller recently and it made you want to freakin’ puke. Tell us about the experience. You needn’t name names, but I found this part of our conversation interesting. Go through it, blow and blow. Countdown to a Kendall Grey rant…three…two…one…rant!

Kendall: The book is a New York Times bestseller. It’s sold gazillions of copies. As of this interview, it has 17,223 reviews on Goodreads with an average rating of 4.10. Several friends highly recommended it. The concept sounded awesome, so I tried it.

The first chapter (and many others) was about 87% back story that I didn’t need, and ended with a totally lame hook that made me NOT want to read more. The heroine was a doe-eyed wet dishrag with the personality of the ingrown toenail sporting a grungy fungus on my left foot. The “hero” (I use the term very loosely) tried to kill her a couple of chapters in. What did she do? Why, she fell in instalove with him, of course! He stabbed the tree he’d cornered her against –stabbed it right next to her head, mind you–and all she could think was, “Oh my God, he’s BEAUTIFUL!” Seriously? Dude, he tried to KILL you! He threatened your blissfully naïve virgin flesh with a long, badass phallic sword! You were scared dookeyless two seconds ago, and now you’re ready to hand your virginity over to him? I sense some deep-seated psychological issues at play here.

As one cannot resist the lure of a good train wreck, I could not put the book down. I had to see just how bad it could get. The author lived up to my expectations. When I got to the sex scenes, I HOL-ed. By that, I mean HOWLED out loud. The author wrote pretty graphic sex (Awesome! Finally!) but then used words like “testicles” and “penis,” which would have been fine had I been reading a coroner’s technical manual, but a romance? Who thinks these words when they’re having wild, crazy sex? “Come on, baby. Slap your testicles against my thigh. Hubba hubba!” Really? And, despite those clinical man-part terms, she never used the word “vagina.” Can we say double standard? I don’t get it.

On top of the yawn-worthy storyline and the confused, wishy-washy excuses for characters, the author used gobs of –ly adverbs (her favorite was “instantly” – FML), passive verbs EVERYWHERE, head-hopping in the middle of a paragraph (then head-hopping back to the other POV in the next paragraph), almost ALL telling with very little showing, poorly constructed sentences with questionable word choice—basically, everything “They” tell writers not to do. I could teach a six-week long course on how NOT to write a novel based on this POS. I made extensive notes on my Kindle as I read. I’m thinking about sending them to the author’s editor. Maybe she could learn a thing or two.

Bottom line: the book had the same effect on me as a long, hearty swig from an expired bottle of syrup of ipecac. I’m not here to criticize anyone’s book choices, but if this is the caliber of writing New York’s “Gatekeepers” expect from their well-respected and highly paid authors, then half of my fellow low-life scum indie writers should be billionaires. Based on the ratings, I can only conclude that readers inexplicably enjoy the book and the series. Maybe it’s because most readers aren’t writers and don’t know what good writing is. If that’s the case, then why should we authors bother writing “correctly”? Why not just throw a bunch of mouth-breathing dullard characters into an ass-potato plot sack, shake and bake, and then spit out greasy, hairy mud pies for New York’s book devouring pleasure? I don’t do that because I tend to think of what I write as art, not the source of a potential retirement fund. Maybe that’s why I’m not making any money. At this stage, I picture myself retiring to an alluring Crack Alley low-rise with nothing to show for my efforts but a needle and spoon and a couple of crushed Triscuits in my shoes.

Whatever, New York. Get on with your bad self.

Kendall rant OVER! 😉

Thanks for hosting me on your blog, hot stuff. I can’t wait to catch up with you at RT next year so we can dazzle the masses again with our epic Kendaaron awesomeness.

Thank you, Kendall Grey.  Best.  Interview.  Ever.  Hilarious!  And switches, man, switches.

 

Inhale on Amazon
Kendall on twitter
Facebook author page
Just Breathe Novels with book trailer

PART II! I Get Goddess Literary and Shy Killer With Romance Writer Marne Ann Kirk

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Friday, no angels, but we have a Marne.  Marne Ann Kirk is back for part two of the interview!  We’ll start, in media res, ’cause we go Greek sometimes.

AARON: So in the beginning, getting all biblical, in the beginning, you wanted to write, heavy, grand, ivory-tower literary fiction. What changed? How did you come to love, honor and obey the power of romances?

Marne: I did want to write literary. You’re right. I wanted my writing to make a difference in a Poe, Hawthorne, Whitman, or Joyce Carol Oates kind of way. I wanted to force my readers to wallow in the agonies of their insignificance, and then be reborn, enlightened… (wink)

And it’s happening now… just not quite how I’d envisioned it. While I wanted to be the “literary author,” and went to college with that plan in mind, I grew up sneaking romances (which I read like an addict). They were a fantastic escape from a not very happy childhood. The best thing about them? The happily-ever-after. I always knew these people would be happy, and that gave me hope. So, I needed to decide what to write. I decided I’d much rather give people hope and happiness, a happy-ever-after, than plumb the darkness of my soul to scare the holy hell out of my readers and make them search for meaning in a meaningless life.

AARON: I have new project for you, Marne. I’m thinking you should write this book: The Shy Person’s Guide to Writers Conferences. Can you give us a brief overview of what that book might look like?

Marne: The book would focus on two things: Persistence and Volunteerism. I was so shy when I first began going to conferences, I literally ran from the workshop to my room for the ten minute breaks, just to avoid talking to people. I was…we’ll say 29, and I brought my step-mom for support. I have gone from that person to searching out new attendees to make them feel welcome, and I volunteer for any position I can help with, just to get to know people. Why? Because I recognized right away, being an author is about the whole package. You can have an amazing book, and it will never sell if you can’t talk about it, if you can’t put yourself out there and get to know people, network. So, I decided to go to the next conference and the next, and I began volunteering right away. For anything I thought I might be able to do. At first, that was stuffing bags, so I didn’t have to meet too many people. Now, I’m the Vice-President of Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers, the Secretary of RWA’s Future, Fantasy, & Paranormal Chapter, the conference co-registrar of the Crested Butte Writers Conference, and I do as much as I can to help with the Colorado Gold Writers’ Conference. My point? It’s so difficult to put yourself out there when you’re painfully shy, but you MUST in today’s market, if you want to become a published author.

AARON: As VP of RMFW, can you have people killed? I know you get that question a lot, but I’m curious to hear your answer. Seriously, what are the benefits of holding such a high office? The drawbacks?

Marne: I can totally have people killed, and it has people very, very afraid. Mwa-hahahaha…Okay, maybe not. But you’re scared, just a little, right? The benies of being V.P. of RMFW…there are so many, and I’m not even joking. I’m totally serious. For instance, whenever I meet writers without a “home,” I get to talk up RMFW and invite them to join, and I always start with introducing myself as the V.P. It just seems to give me more courage in talking to strangers. Weird, I know, but that’s one perk. Another amazing beni is I get to influence where RMFW goes and what we do as an organization. That’s a huge bit of fun. The drawbacks? How could there be a drawback to helping RMFW be even better than the amazing organization it is?

AARON: You’ve been with the same critique partners for years and years. What are the pluses and minuses of having the same people read your stuff year after year?

Marne: I belong to a critique group of seven, right now. The core group, four of us, have been together for eight years and the other three members are all relatively new. The new people help with giving new perspectives, which is great; but the core group is fantastic about never getting “old.” Even though we’re friends, that’s left at the door, so to speak, when the critique begins.

AARON: Okay, Marne, I want your best brilliant-marketing-campaigner-carnival-barker-used-car-salesman pitch for your paranormal romance novel due out this autumn, Goddess on the Run. Hit us with your best shot! Hook us like a carp looking for Velveeta.

Marne: How about this?

All Fomorian Hells are about to break loose on earth, making human souls the daily special, if the Tuatha de Danaan can’t stop it.
Teagan, a Celtic demi-goddess hiding from her destiny in small-town Colorado, wants nothing to do with her mother’s forgotten realm or the drama of a battle of the gods. And Merric is forbidden fruit she’s too smart to taste.
Merric, leader of the Tuatha de Danaan warriors, has other plans. Teagan holds the key to salvation, for both him and their worlds, whether she wants to or not. He’ll do whatever it takes to convince her of her duty.
But can he find the key to her heart?

AARON: Last question, let’s bring it all home. You live in Delta, Colorado, metropolis of the Western Slope. Which of your characters, from either novel, would be best suited to living in smalltown Colorado? Which ones would be the worst?

Marne: Delta County has a whopping 31,322 people, roughly in 1,150 square miles. This translates to 27 people per square mile, a 24-hour Wal-Mart, and one McDonald’s open until midnight within city limits. It’s a great place to raise kids with amazing imaginations. Teagan, the heroine of GODDESS ON THE RUN, would thrive in this town. She loves small towns, loves the people, loves the energy. Issie, the heroine of LOVE CHOSEN, is used to the bustle of her inn, the fast-paced, port-city life. She’d likely go stir crazy in a slow town like Delta.

Aaron: Thanks, Marne!

Marne: Aaron, this was so much fun! Thank you! It was a blast! My husband said I gave you cauliflower ear, talking. I hope that isn’t the case… And if it is, put an onion on it. It’ll take care of any ear ache 😉

 

Check out Marne’s website
Marne on Amazon
Marne’s blog, Cowboys and Dragons at the Cafe
Marne On twitter

 

 

No cauliflower ears here.  Thanks for the two part interview!  Come and meet Marne and me at the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers Gold Conference in September.  It’s the hoot of all hoots.  Later!

I Get Giggly and High School Poetic With Romance Writer Marne Ann Kirk PART I

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Yes friends, Romans, countrymen, this author and I had so much fun talking, I’m doing a two part series.  Today and tomorrow, me and Marne Ann Kirk.  Today is Part I.  I used a Roman numeral for one.  Because I’m classy like that.

And poetic.  This blog post has real like poetry on it.  You lucky people.

Marne Ann Kirk and I are both Crescent Moon Press writers and we wrote together one weekend, and I’ll never forget how stately she looked in a rumpled old chair, leaning back, typing on her computer. She looked positively regal. Me? I type. I rage. I type some more. I hate the words, like I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee. Helpless to stop, I pound more sentences down to spite the shattered pieces of my own misbegotten, hopeful genius. And Marne, stately, works.

At least that’s what I saw. But then, she is the Vice President of the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers, she has 9 brothers and 2 sisters, and she is raising a gaggle of her own kids. And she has dogs, including several puppies who get themselves into a variety of messes. With all of that going on, her serenity is humbling. As is her kindness. Am I eulogizing? Don’t let me eulogize. To learn more, and come up with high praise of your own, click here.

Marne has a series with Crescent Moon Press. The Fae Dragon Chronicles: Love Chosen is already out, and she has a paranormal romance set to launch this summer. We’ll talk about both. And Montana. And woodpiles. And how romantic fiction might have saved her life, though when she started writing, she wanted to write hardcore, thought-provoking literary fiction.

Here is the Amazon.com link for Love Chosen, not literary, but a fantasy romance. This is the skinny:

For millennia, dragon and fae have peacefully co-existed, but the fae themselves have lived segregated and very different lives. Now a malevolence threatens to separate them all permanently. Can a Queen’s guard and a rebellious outlaw join forces to defeat this common enemy?

So we talked, it was fun, and here it is:

AARON: So, Marne, tell us about the woodpile people in Montana. Everyone loves to hear stories about woodpile people.

Marne: True story: I was a weird child. I know, I know, so hard to believe, right? But, like most writers, my imagination began as this raging beast within my psyche, battling with the child I was for supreme control over my life. Luckily, I beat it back enough to fool others into believing I’m normal; but there for a while in my early development, it was touch and go. I was afraid of absolutely everything (and a few of my brothers might have preyed on those fears, just a titch).

When I was eight, I lived on a beautiful piece of land bordering the Lee Metcalf National Wildlife Preserve in Montana. On this amazing property we lived what you might call a rustic life…I believe it would be more accurate, though, to say dirt had more monetary value than we did. Anyway, poor was an understatement. We lived in a run down, two-and-a-half bedroom, no bathroom, no electricity, no water or plumbing, cozy trailer home for seven, with one more on the way. At eight, though, I saw it as an adventure. Seriously, best camping trip EVER.

The only downside…I was afraid of the dark. And without electricity, it was a dark winter indeed. One of my chores was getting wood, but it seemed I always had to get it at night. Always. In the pitch black of the darkest night. And for the longest time, I remember standing against the trailer with my eyes scrunched shut, just praying my daddy would magically forget he needed that wood. I was pretty sure if the bears or mountain lions didn’t eat me, the deer and bunnies would (thanks to said brothers).

And then the woodpile people came to my rescue. At first there were two, a brother and sister, who convinced me to come over to the woodpile. They kept me company and performed silly antics while I got wood. If they had a problem, I’d help them resolve it. Once they trusted me, their parents came out of the woodpile to meet me; and as I gained their trust by solving issues or keeping secrets, they brought friends out to meet me until I had an entire small village of woodpile people, complete with a little mayor and officer, for friends.

Crazy, I know, but isn’t there a bit of crazy in us all? Please, Aaron, for the love of all I hold dear, say it’s so.

AARON: Okay, so in high school, I wrote bad suicide poetry. A lot of bad suicide poetry. You want a sample? No, I couldn’t…okay…if you insist…

Darkness lives like a beast in my soul,
Life has no happiness for a mongrel like me
I slip the razorblade under my flesh and bleed my truth:
I was never meant to live.

Hey, that was pretty good. Okay, my bad suicide poetry from high school had more angsty, less poetry.

Now, Marne, what kind of poems did you write in high school? And Marne, on the phone, we agreed, you’d give us a sample.

Marne: It’s kind of funny to me, how time distorts one’s memory. When we spoke, I told you I wrote poetry (very bad poetry, I might add) about nature and God, and not really angsty stuff at all… Boy, was I wrong. I pulled out an old journal and, lo and behold, I was a pretty typically angst-ridden kid. Ick. But I promised you some bad…er, I mean fantastic, amazing, poetry. So…

Raindrops
Tickle the tongue
Soft, tiny; slow drowning
Life, hanging by its perfection
Raindrops

That one wasn’t too angst-filled. And, because I actually like this one…

Tell me
Why do we die?
Just to make room for more?
Death mocks mankind’s every success.
Ironic

Why, yes… I do know they’re terrible. But I was a teenager. You should read the angsty stuff. Horrible. Depressing. And did I mention horrible? I hope fiction was the right path…

AARON: From your bio, you are child of the west. So am I. I was born with the soul of a coyote and a love for the wind. In Love Chosen, though, you include more exotic settings. However, in the sequel, you bring it all home. Tell us a little bit about how your life in the west has colored the settings of your novels.

Marne: “The soul of a coyote and a love for the wind,” I like that… Personally, I hate the wind—strong winds make me so cranky and I don’t know why (yet Delta has many wind-filled Spring days. Ick). I think I’ll put a horrific wind storm in the black moment of my next book. Thanks for the idea, Aaron!

Anyway, when it comes to setting, I write what I know or I write what I’d love to know about. First, to set things up a bit, I wrote LOVE CHOSEN, book one in the Fae Dragon Chronicles, after I wrote LOVE DARED, book two in the Fae Dragon Chronicles. Why? Because I wrote LOVE DARED as a stand-alone story and then realized there was so much more story I could tell, so I wrote LOVE CHOSEN.

So, we’ll start with LOVE DARED, which takes place in coniferous mountains, in desert canyon lands, in cliff-dwelling homes…all of these areas are places I’m intimately familiar with. I spent a great portion of my youth living on oil rigs with my family, all over the hills, plateaus, and canyons of Colorado, New Mexico, Utah, and Wyoming. We found cliff dwellings, old homesteads, caved-in mines, all kinds of amazing artifacts, and those things influence a young mind. I think this comes out in the imagery of LOVE DARED.

By the time I’d written LOVE CHOSEN, I’d had a chance to travel a bit more and I’d even seen an ocean or two. The internet had also become a much more significant resource. So I felt comfortable placing LOVE CHOSEN in a seaport kingdom. The funny thing about that, though, is the Ierocks mountain range separates the fae from the humans, and it is present in both books. Why? Because I guess I never got too far away from home after all… Ierocks= Rockies…

Just to be clear, it’s like a love\hate thing with the wind.  But thanks Marne.  Part I ends here, but part II begins tomorrow!  It’s all Marne, all week! Or at least Thursday and Friday.

Talk to you cats tomorrow.