Step Two Continued: Atheists Are Writers Too!

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Step 2 – Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Okay, I took kind of a long break, but well, you know, life happens. Stupid life.

Let’s recap. For me, a sane writer works to improve their craft, writes on a schedule, and markets themselves and their writing with very little drama. A sane writer lives with the belief that if they continue to write, they will become better.

Nietzsche

Now, above, I don’t say the word “God.” But “power greater than” certainly points to some kind of divine force.

Oh, I have such a hard time with the God idea. I’m kind of an all-or-nothing type of guy, and if there is a God, I would want magic fireballs tumbling out of the sky and filling me with inspiration and hope. Some people have had that experience, heck, I’ve even had some of those experiences, but for me to be satisfied, burning bushes would have to happen every day of the week. Yeah, God would have to be a Vegas nightshow act to keep me interested.

However, there are a variety of powers greater than myself that are active in my life. For example, my critique group is a power greater than myself. Maybe for some, maybe for most, they can create by themselves and churn out Shakespearean perfection, but not me. I need an outside eye, a fresh look, a power greater than myself.

Not to say I take everything my critique group says as gospel. Nope. I joke that I get their comments, and then I run it by the committee. Yes, I have a group of voices in my mind, and that group gets to decide on what comments I take and what comments I bid adieu. So even by myself, there is a power greater than myself running amok in my head. A good critique will stick in your craw, and you’ll fight, but in the end, you’ll have to embrace what’s right. And you’ll know. That deep part of yourself will know what is gold and what is complete cow crap.

And as a writer, the entire writing industry is a power greater than me, but that industry, while bent on making cash dollars, is also full of people passionate about books. Yes, there are some evil frakking people out there, but from my experience, most have good hearts and love stories. They can help. Sometimes. Again, the committee gets the final say.

 

Catherine Ryan Hyde, author of the wonderful Pay It Forward, was told by a well-meaning agent to change her book and have nice people pay it forward to other nice people. Ugh. Part of what makes the book so powerful is taht the people are gritty, real, and not antiseptic clones.  Yeah, Ms. Hyde ignored that bit of “helpful” advice.

 

 

The most important part of Step Two is to let outside forces have a peek into your work and into your creative life and then be open to suggestions. A sane writer can take a good critique. And a sane writer knows when people are either stupid, evil, or useless. And you’ll encounter that. Just nod, and say thank you. A lot. I learned that from one of the old warrior writers in my critique group. Just say thank you. Don’t argue. Don’t fuss. Don’t explain. Just say thank you and move on.

In the end, the committee will decide. Or, for those with certain beliefs, the whisper of the Sacred Heart of Jesus inside you will be the final judge. Or Ganesha. I love Ganesha. The elephant-headed God of writers, thieves, and miracles. Which pretty much sums up the writer’s life.
Be open to following directions. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Wouldn’t it be cool if you were writing and Ganesha appeared? How awesome would that be?

Again, for me to be satisfied, he’d have to show up every day. With flowers. Vegas showtime, baby, or don’t even bother.

I Talk Heart of Darkness and Fledgling Shapeshifters With YA Author Natasha Brown

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Writers can pop up literally anywhere. In your shower, late at night. Hotel rooms in bad parts of town. Kathmandu, Nepal. We are an elusive breed, shadowy, here one minute, gone the next. So was I surprised to find that a writer was haunting the halls of the Montessori school where my children go? Not in a horribly-scarred-phantom-of-the-opera type of way. Natasha Brown was just a parent, but so much more. I wasn’t surprised that Natasha had written a book, but I was impressed by her really good Amazon ranking. And the fact she finaled in the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers Gold contest. And that she had gone rogue, e-pubbed, and was doing well.

A little about her book, Fledgling (The Shapeshifter Chronicles):

Set apart from other eighteen-year-olds, Ana Hughes knows she is different. A life-threatening heart condition smothers her future and she yearns to feel normal. Her hopes are pinned on a fresh start in a remote town far from her native Colorado. Among the locker-filled hallways in Clark Bend High, Ana keeps to the shadows, not wanting to draw attention to her violet-tinged lips and wilted silhouette. And she almost succeeds, until she meets Chance Morgan.
Struggling to keep up appearances, she soon suspects Chance is hiding something as well. His animal-like senses, miraculous healing ability and peculiar reaction to her Thunderbird necklace compel Ana to question if there’s more to the stories about his Navajo ancestry. Without any other explanation, she fears he is playing tricks on her. But the truth may prove too much for Ana’s delicate heart…

We talked, and this is a little of what we talked about.

AARON: Okay, Natasha, at what point in your life did you want to write a novel? Where were you, what were you drinking, and were olives involved?

Natasha: It was the perfect storm – inspiration, courage and my family left me alone for a whole glorious weekend. I do love olives, but alas, they weren’t involved.

AARON: When we talked, you said you were inspired by J.K. Rowling and Stephenie Meyer. What about them inspired you? Haircuts? Choice of shoes? Mormonism? Britishism?

Natasha: They inspired me because they, like me, were mothers with an idea. An idea that they wrote down and had the tenacity to persist with. I thought if they could do it, then I would try as well.

AARON: Let me talk about myself for a minute, because, well, I am so very fascinating. I’m a big fan of Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness, which inspired the movie Apocalypse Now. Kurtz, in the jungle, going mad, worshiped by the natives. He went rogue, just like you. What made you throw off the shackles of traditional publishing to set yourself up in your jungle paradise on Amazon?

Natasha: Let me smear some war paint on my face first before I answer…
Like you mentioned earlier I finaled in the RMFW contest, which was fantastic. It gave me the confidence to start querying agents. I had a few nibbles, but ultimately it led to a dead-end. And then life happened. When you are busy with kids and work, those other things fall away, and that is what happened to FLEDGLING. Until an acquaintance found out I had a finished novel collecting dust. He had self-published and found great success. I decided, what with the state of the evolving book world, I would go ahead and give it a try myself. I am a web developer and designer so I designed my own cover. I set the hook and waited for a nibble.

AARON: Kurtz summarized his experience in the jungle with four words, well, two words repeated twice: the horror, the horror. What two words, repeated twice, summarize your experience as an independent publisher?

Natasha: Two words is all? Yeesh. Take courage, take courage.

AARON: Why do you think your Amazon ranking is so good? My ranking is like three million and fluctuates as low as eight billion, but you, you have a ranking, a steady ranking, in the thousands, which is awesome. Did I just use way too many commas? Maybe. I’m a little nervous asking this question. I’m pausing a lot.

Natasha: I stole some fairy dust and sprinkled my computer with it. Does wonders, although whenever I click my mouse, it giggles. No, seriously. I am lucky. There are SO many elements that contribute to a book doing well. Past the obvious, that the book has to be somewhat interesting and in a genre that sells, there is a lot to marketing a book. A good cover and book blurb are very important – they are the first impression. You need to be present in social media like, facebook, twitter and your own author blog. I am part of a great author group named the World Literary Café (WLC- www.worldliterarycafe.com) which provides many resources to indie and traditional authors. I couldn’t have made it this far without my new group of friends.

AARON: One of your inspirations for Fledgling was your daughter’s heart condition. What kind of heart condition does she have, and how does that play into the novel?

Natasha: The heart issues are a huge issue in the story and everything revolves around it, much like in real life. My daughter was born with multiple heart defects. She had transposition of the great arteries, hypoplastic-left heart syndrome, and a large ventricular septal defect. That might sound like a lot of gibberish to most people, but all of those conditions caused enough trouble for my daughter to have two open-heart surgeries. Heart defects make up about a third of all children born with birth defects. My daughter is not alone. The personality and specific circumstances of my daughter are not the same as the lead character in my book, but they do share many of the same experiences. I wanted to create a female lead who could be a heroine for my daughter to look up to. For anyone who was born with heart defects.

AARON: We talked about how hard the writer’s journey is. What themes in Fledgling could inspire a struggling writer to keep on keeping on?

Natasha: A writer’s journey can be tortured to be sure, but it is so much broader than that. Being a teenager has its challenges as well, and I think they are much the same. Will they like me? Will I fit in? Stand out? I’m not good enough.

Self-doubt and insecurities plague everyone. Especially writers. FLEDGLING, I hope, will leave the reader uplifted and hopeful. My own story, and even my daughter’s story, I hope, will inspire as well. You CAN do it if you persevere.

AARON: Natasha, if you had to exchange your writer’s life for another artistic passion, what would you choose? For example, if I had to give up writing for some other type of creative art, I wouldn’t choose rockstar or famous Parisian painter, I’d choose quilting. Dudes who quilt are dead sexy. What about you?

Natasha: Dead sexy to be sure…I think you even have another book idea in there.
My father is a fine art photographer (and in another life, a graphic artist) and my mother does poetry. Artistry is in my blood. I have dabbled with quilting, stained glass, painting, photography, jewelry making and graphic design. I’m not sure what else I could try, but I’m only happy when I am creating something. I wouldn’t mind hanging in Italy, the country where I got engaged, and just ‘go with the flow’.

AARON: Thanks Natasha!

Natasha: And thank you, Aaron!

Website for the book
Natasha on twitter
Fledgling on Amazon

I Go Moby Dick and Freakin’ Cuss with Urban Fantasy Romance Author Kendall Grey

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I met Kendall Grey at Romantic Times Book Lover’s convention in Chicago and our first conversation was all about how she was hardcore cynical and dark, and she could out-negative me. Oh, Ms. Grey, you don’t wanna go there. So I was ready to do battle, until she revealed the softer side. She talked about her books, Inhale, Exhale, and Just Breathe, and she got a little teary. Hardcore cynical, with a heart soft and golden. Right then, I knew I liked this Kendall Grey. We bonded, and when we are together, we are Kendaaron. In Hollywood, we’re kind of a big deal.

So we talked and, I asked her if…no, no, no, wait for the interview! First more intro stuff. Her debut novel, Inhale, is out now. Exhale is coming soon. And Just Breathe on the horizon. Squint, you can see it.

And check out this very delicious bio from her website all linked up here: Kendall Grey is a whale educator and urban fantasy writer. She lives near Atlanta, Georgia with her ghost husband, a random rainbow, a gossamer-winged fairy, a wild imp, and a ferocious, miniature, long-haired Dachshund who keeps them all in line. INHALE is the first book in the “Just Breathe” trilogy.

Whales, man, it’s all about the whales. Or the sex. Or both. Here is the interview.

Aaron: When we talked, you said you kept going to Gloucester, Massachusetts for the whales. Como? Come again? Whales in Massachusetts? Help me, Rhonda. How did those east coast whales, and other huge ocean mammals around the globe, inspire you, the titles of the books, et cetera?

Kendall: I’ve been a whale fanatic for years. While I was on a whale watching trip in 2008, I picked up Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight. I loved the heck out of that story and thought, “I could write a book.” Of course, the heroine had to be a whale biologist, because, like, DUH! Since I know a few things about whales, the subject matter was a no brainer.

The titles of the books in the trilogy are inspired by the whales too. One of the most amazing things about these animals is the immensity of their breaths. If you’ve ever heard one blow up close, the sound is freaking HUGE! I still get chills when I hear that mighty breath rushing out at 200 miles per hour. They expel and refill lungs the size of small cars in a matter of a couple seconds. Did you know they exchange about 85% of their oxygen in one breath? We pathetic humans only average about 15 – 20%. Next to whales, we are hedgehog poop.

Aaron: So you are close personal friends with Stephenie Meyer. Well, you read her books. In a way, they inspired the book as much as the whales. What is one question you would ask Stephenie Meyer if you met her?

Kendall: What the hell were you thinking when you wrote Breaking Dawn? Hahahaha! I loved the first three books, but the last one went off on a total tangent for me. Sorry, Twilight fans!

Aaron: Now, your books have some erotic coupling, the characters use “colorful” language, and yet, people have thought your books are YA. Let’s be clear. Your books are for adults. Not like adult-bookstore adults, but yeah, you get me. Could you re-write Inhale as a YA novel? What would change? What would you keep? Can you write sentences without “colorful” language, like tumescent?

Kendall: Erm, no, I don’t think I could rewrite the books as YA because they’re about ADULTS. The heroine is 32 years old. She’s a professional woman with a doctorate degree in cetacean biology. I suppose I could pull a Doogie Howser and make her a brilliant teenage prodigy or some crap, but there’s enough willing suspension of disbelief already rippling through this trilogy No reason to make it completely unbelievable.

Aaron: Inhale started out at a hefty 215,000 words, and yet you queried. What kind of reaction did you get with that doorstop size of a book?

Kendall: A hell of a lot of form rejections. HA! One agent was kind enough to write a personal note that basically said, “Just so you know, 215K is more like three books, not one.” I was clueless. I just wrote the book I wanted to read. I never investigated things like word counts or goal, motivation, and conflict. I was too busy having fun to mess with all that boring technical stuff. 🙂

Aaron: Can you give us a little peek-a-boo as to what your query was for Inhale? Maybe like a pitch. A little pitch. For a 215K book, you should get at least 3500 words to pitch your book.

Kendall: Honestly, I don’t even remember what I wrote in the queries. I think I deleted them all. They were as bad as the original book. I prefer to repress those bad memories.

Aaron: In Inhale, dreams are important. Did your own dreams color the writing of these books? Do you have freaky dreams, like in David Lynch’s Twin Peaks, with giants, midgets, people who talk backwards? Am I in your dreams?

 

 

Kendall: Gavin, the hero in the trilogy, actually did come to me in a dream, so yeah, they’ve played a role. I had this image of what he looked like based on that dream, and I never let go of it. He also ate buttloads of creamed corn in the dream, so YES, Twin Peaks had a dominant role. As for your last question, of course I dream about you. Every night. You’re my better half, and your mad words inspire me.

Aaron: When we talked, in Exhale, the sequel, your favorite scene in the book was with your villain, the villain that everyone loves. Why do you think people are drawn to your evil guy?

Kendall: I think readers love Sinnder because he’s so mysterious, and you can’t tell what his true motives are. He does all the wrong things for all the right reasons. He’s Trouble with a capital T, yet you get the sense there’s a LOT more to him than meets the eye. SPOILER ALERT! –> There is a lot more to him than meets the eye.

Aaron: You voice your opinions readily on the internet. I mean, right now, you are composing tweets in your head about this interview and how much you hate me. No, be honest. I can feel the hate. Do you ever wish you were different? Oh, I don’t know, more genteel, Pride-and-Prejudice-sweet, why, yes, Mr. Darcy, I would like more tea? Do you ever wish you had more Jane Bennett in you, or are you happy being all Elizabeth?

Kendall: I have nothing but sticky sweet adoration for your particular brand of badassery, so hush that self-deprecating mess right now. If you don’t, I’ll come after you with a switch and teach your booty a lesson.

I have no idea what those other words in your question mean. What is “Jane Bennett”? “Tea”? “Genteel”? Does. Not. Compute. The only thing I wish I could change about myself is the amphibious thinness of my writer skin. It needs at least 40 lashings from the aforementioned switch to build up some gnarly-thick calluses. Bring on the chips, dips, chains, and whips! Being loud and obnoxious is easy. Weathering bad reviews and people hating my words? I cry like a baby over that crap.

Aaron: Last question. You picked up a bestseller recently and it made you want to freakin’ puke. Tell us about the experience. You needn’t name names, but I found this part of our conversation interesting. Go through it, blow and blow. Countdown to a Kendall Grey rant…three…two…one…rant!

Kendall: The book is a New York Times bestseller. It’s sold gazillions of copies. As of this interview, it has 17,223 reviews on Goodreads with an average rating of 4.10. Several friends highly recommended it. The concept sounded awesome, so I tried it.

The first chapter (and many others) was about 87% back story that I didn’t need, and ended with a totally lame hook that made me NOT want to read more. The heroine was a doe-eyed wet dishrag with the personality of the ingrown toenail sporting a grungy fungus on my left foot. The “hero” (I use the term very loosely) tried to kill her a couple of chapters in. What did she do? Why, she fell in instalove with him, of course! He stabbed the tree he’d cornered her against –stabbed it right next to her head, mind you–and all she could think was, “Oh my God, he’s BEAUTIFUL!” Seriously? Dude, he tried to KILL you! He threatened your blissfully naïve virgin flesh with a long, badass phallic sword! You were scared dookeyless two seconds ago, and now you’re ready to hand your virginity over to him? I sense some deep-seated psychological issues at play here.

As one cannot resist the lure of a good train wreck, I could not put the book down. I had to see just how bad it could get. The author lived up to my expectations. When I got to the sex scenes, I HOL-ed. By that, I mean HOWLED out loud. The author wrote pretty graphic sex (Awesome! Finally!) but then used words like “testicles” and “penis,” which would have been fine had I been reading a coroner’s technical manual, but a romance? Who thinks these words when they’re having wild, crazy sex? “Come on, baby. Slap your testicles against my thigh. Hubba hubba!” Really? And, despite those clinical man-part terms, she never used the word “vagina.” Can we say double standard? I don’t get it.

On top of the yawn-worthy storyline and the confused, wishy-washy excuses for characters, the author used gobs of –ly adverbs (her favorite was “instantly” – FML), passive verbs EVERYWHERE, head-hopping in the middle of a paragraph (then head-hopping back to the other POV in the next paragraph), almost ALL telling with very little showing, poorly constructed sentences with questionable word choice—basically, everything “They” tell writers not to do. I could teach a six-week long course on how NOT to write a novel based on this POS. I made extensive notes on my Kindle as I read. I’m thinking about sending them to the author’s editor. Maybe she could learn a thing or two.

Bottom line: the book had the same effect on me as a long, hearty swig from an expired bottle of syrup of ipecac. I’m not here to criticize anyone’s book choices, but if this is the caliber of writing New York’s “Gatekeepers” expect from their well-respected and highly paid authors, then half of my fellow low-life scum indie writers should be billionaires. Based on the ratings, I can only conclude that readers inexplicably enjoy the book and the series. Maybe it’s because most readers aren’t writers and don’t know what good writing is. If that’s the case, then why should we authors bother writing “correctly”? Why not just throw a bunch of mouth-breathing dullard characters into an ass-potato plot sack, shake and bake, and then spit out greasy, hairy mud pies for New York’s book devouring pleasure? I don’t do that because I tend to think of what I write as art, not the source of a potential retirement fund. Maybe that’s why I’m not making any money. At this stage, I picture myself retiring to an alluring Crack Alley low-rise with nothing to show for my efforts but a needle and spoon and a couple of crushed Triscuits in my shoes.

Whatever, New York. Get on with your bad self.

Kendall rant OVER! 😉

Thanks for hosting me on your blog, hot stuff. I can’t wait to catch up with you at RT next year so we can dazzle the masses again with our epic Kendaaron awesomeness.

Thank you, Kendall Grey.  Best.  Interview.  Ever.  Hilarious!  And switches, man, switches.

 

Inhale on Amazon
Kendall on twitter
Facebook author page
Just Breathe Novels with book trailer