Step 3 Continued: My Best Self

Step 3 – Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to a power greater than ourselves

Photo: Bresson Thomas

I have a hard time with the God idea. I wish I didn’t. Lots and lots of people find amazing solace in the idea of a divine presence with their best interest at heart. For me, though, since I have a hard time with the God idea, and since I get overwhelmed, I’ve really embraced the third step as being me living as my best self.

My best self.

Not the self that whines and hides and runs away. Oh, love that guy. Yeah, chicks dig that guy. Nothing quite so disgusting as a whining escape artist who’s never around. Self-pity. The other day, I heard a woman talk about the brown Jacuzzi. How warm and disgusting it is. I won’t go into detail. You can connect the dots.

Not the self that is better than everyone, who is just so wonderful, he probably doesn’t need a critique group or beta readers. I love it when after writing, I feel like a genius, that I burn with raw creative fire. Generally, I race to my wife and say, “Will you love me when I’m rich and famous?” She always says yes. I think it’s the money part. Fame is like poison for the soul, if you ask me.

My best self.

My best self is the person who I was born to be, the good, kind, caring, selfless fearless person who is ready for any obstacle, who asks for help, who works without complaint, and helps whenever he can. Who is more interested in giving to the universe and serving the world than his own ego and drama.

When I am in the third step, I am striving to be my best self. And I know when I fail and I know when I succeed because my vision of who I am is stuck in my head.

And that’s the thing that trips up a lot of people. You will always fail in trying to be your best self. Hell, if you didn’t, you’d be a Greek-frakking god. We’re human. We will fail probably as much as we’ll succeed. But the trick is to make the commitment and keep working at being your best self.

Because the rewards are not fame and fortune. When I am striving to be my best self, my life falls into place and things work out. I think that’s why the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says that when we get ourselves right spiritually, we straighten out mentally and physically.

But this takes honesty. If I’m not taking care of my family, or my day job, and I’m writing all the time and striving to be my best self, that might at times feel like the right thing to do, but again, it’s about being of service and being selfless. I need to remember that it’s all a balancing act.

And, when you are relationship with other people, they will generally tell you when you’re not being your best self. That kind of honesty is a terror. But it’s also a gift.

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