My Sales Numbers Reprise: My Scale is Broken

So last Tuesday I posted a blog post about my sales numbers not being of the “fly off the shelf” variety and I got some wonderful comments from a bunch of wonderful people because the world is good and I am lucky.

True dat.

However, I gotta come clean. I measure success versus failure in extremes because I grew up watching WAAAAYYYY too much TV.  I don’t have a good grasp on reality. If I don’t post numbers like Stephenie Meyer, I’m a failure. If my fans aren’t Harry Potter crazy for me and my books, I’m a failure. If I don’t move millions of women ala Fifty Shades of Grey, yeah, you guessed it, total failure.

My numbers are pretty good, but for me, complete failure.  When I gost B+’s in school, I thought that was the end of the world.  To be better than average sucks, because I wanna be perfect. I want to be a god among men. I want to be adored by the masses. I want a stalker. But would I be able to handle all the fame and fortune at this stage? Prolly not.

A friend of mine said that the more I struggle, the more grounded I’ll be when I do become rich and famous. Like George Clooney.

My problem is that my scale is broken. Not one in a million is going to hit it big like Suzanne Collins. Ah, love that Katniss.

So I have ego problems. Yeah, who knew?

The punch line to all of this is that I have to claim my victories and celebrate even my smallest successes. Every day that I write, or sell, or market, or read the loops and try to contribute, that is a success for a guy like me. Guys like me quit and sit on bar stools and dream about doing wonderful things but then run away when it gets too hard.

Aaron signs a book for New York Times bestselling novelist Jeanne Stein

Once again, the secret is to enter into the struggle and enjoy what you can. But I do feel very lucky to have such nice writers around to support me.