Why Suicide?

So my next book, LONG LIVE THE SUICIDE KING, is coming out in April of 2014.  This is gonna be a tough one, folks.  This doesn’t have the nice little hook that my first novel, THE NEVER PRAYER, had.  Demons, angels, love, Twilight-esque themes—that was easy to sell.

Suicide?  Not really what some people want to read about.  Others, well, they want an “issues” book, right?  My wife loved to come home in middle school and read all about the afterschool special topics of the day: drug addiction, surviving divorce, teen prostitution, et cetera.  And yeah, suicide is in there as well.

I’m going to be talking a lot about suicide in the coming year, and I’m going to have to answer the question: why suicide?

What do the experts say we should write about?  Write what you know.  And I know about suicide.  Ask anyone I went to high school with.  Everyone knew I was on the edge, and some thought I did it for attention, and some thought I did it to be cool, but I was suicidal because I found normal, dull, boring life completely overwhelming.  I wanted to die.  Or I wanted answers to the big questions: why are we here?  What is the meaning of life?  Is there a God?

In my book, my hero goes around asking people why they go on.  He asks the question, why not suicide?  Not many people have a good answer to that question.  Or maybe a lot of people don’t want to admit that they even have self-destructive thoughts. Or maybe, for many people, they are happy, or at least fairly content, and they don’t think about suicide at all.  And never have.

I truly hope there are such happy, contented people out there.  I have my doubts.

I would love to be fairly content, but I’m not.  I need answers, and here I am, thirty years later. I still want answers.  I’m not suicidal today, but that’s because I understand now that I don’t have all that much time left, and there are cool things in this world, really cool, not-to-be-missed stuff.  And I’ve learned not to trust what I think.

So I wrote a book about suicide, about the search for meaning, and it has all the themes I love to write about: atheism, drug addiction, hope, and hopelessness and love.

I love my little book.  I’m proud it’s going to find a way out into the world.

SHIVER – Just Finished This Minute Reviews

There’s a lot to like about Maggie Stiefvater’s Shiver. I’ve been pushing the book for years, because it came from Andrea Brown’s literary agency, and Laura Rennert is Ms. Stiefvater’s agent, and I love all them people.

So I’m biased. But I’ll tell ya what I think. Just between you and me, world. Other worlds don’t need to know.

A lot of it worked for me. And heck yeah, I’m still gonna recommend it. The idea is intriguing: werewolves don’t change because of the moon, they change because they get cold. So during wintertime, our hero Sam is a wolf. Summertime, he’s a boy who meets our heroine, Grace. There’s love. There’s angst. And the nice hook. Sam is going to change back into a wolf forever once winter hits. It’s his last autumn as a human, and he just found true love? Dammit! I hate when that happens.

Nice thing about Ms. Stiefvater, girlfriend can write. Here’s an example.

My parents didn’t even know. The morning after Sam and I—spent the night together, it seemed like the biggest thing on my mind was that my parents had no idea. I guessed that was normal. I guessed feeling a little guilty was normal. I guessed feeling giddy was normal. It was as if I had thought all along I was a complete picture, and Sam had revealed that I was a puzzle, and had taken me apart into pieces and put me back together again. I was acutely aware of each distinct emotion, all fitting together tightly.
–Shiver, Page 300

And Ms. Stiefvater quotes Rilke:
And leaving you (there aren’t words to untangle it)
Your life, fearful and immense and blossoming,
so that, sometimes frustrated, and sometimes
understanding,
Your life is sometimes a stone in you, and then, a star.
– Rainer Maria Rilke

I loved Sam, Sam’s voice, Sam’s memories of his parents and his becoming. All of it well done. Grace didn’t quite work for me, but it wasn’t bad. I’m not saying it’s bad. Am I saying it’s bad? No, but…

As Pee-Wee Herman once said, “We all have a big but.” Here is mine. I needed more whiz, bang, pow action and tension and conflict and villains and explosions and shining moments of high drama. Not necessarily end of the world type stuff; I didn’t need, in the words of that immortal ghostbuster, Peter Venkman, human sacrifice, cats living with dogs, mass hysteria. Hey, I initially wrote cats living with gods, mass hysteria. Cats Living With Gods. That’s gonna be my next book.

Anyhow, Shiver is a bestselling book, in some ways, the heir to the Twilight empire, and so what do I know? A lot of the book is Sam and Grace, together, loving one another. There are some moments of tension, but they aren’t milked for all their worth in my nothing opinion.

Keep in mind, I like me a good soap opera. And what was the genius\idiocy behind soap operas? Milking conflict for weeks on end. Like on All My Children (God rest your soul), the Erica Kane, Dmitri, Edumud love triangle lasted like six months. Ah, Edmund the stable boy, Dmitri the rich landowner, Erica caught in the middle. Love that Susan Lucci.

So then, of course, I take all of theslowness of Shiver very personal. What if my books don’t sell because I do try to milk my conflict? I do aim for the cats living dogs mass hysteria? What if the audience is looking for nice calm books about sorrowful werewolves holding nice girls with family problems?

Here is the reality, oh world of mine. There is enough room for all books. All will have an audience. Some will have an audience of millions. Some will have an audience of one. I will write my books, Ms. Stiefvater will write hers, and in the end, we’ve both contributed to the libraries of human existence. We’ll both end up in that Alexandrian Library in the sky.

Chasing after someone else’s voice or plot or whatever is a dangerous thing to do. Doppelgangers tend not to live very long. Even though they are a 4d8+4 HD monster.

Dungeon and Dragons, Rilke, Ghostbusters, and All My Children in the same blog post. I frakkin’ love what I write.

Coming Soon from Crescent Moon Press!

That’s right, I did it! I’ve gotten a publisher!

The Never Prayer will be coming soon in E-book edition, as well as print edition, from Crescent Moon Press.

The Never Prayer is my story of good vs evil, angel vs devil, push vs pull. Young Lena is torn between making the wrong choices for the right reasons and risking everything she still holds dear, or making the right choices and failing her little brother.

As she continues down the dark path she feels has been chosen for her, she is given one last chance to redeem herself. All she has to do is pick the angel over the devil – if she can figure out which is which before it’s too late.

If you were faced with an angel and a demon, would you know the difference? If life threw you in the gutter, would you be able to climb out? What if everything and everyone depended on you? Could you find the light in time?

The Never Prayer asks you to take a deeper look at how we determine what is right, and what is just, and ultimately what it means to be good.

Book trailer, author appearances, and pre-ordering all coming soon, so stay tuned!!